9DPO

Well I checked last night and I only have 3 cheep pregnancy tests and one FRER.  I am at 9dpo today and 10dpiui.  I had some cramping the other day but other than that I feel nothing but hope!  I wanted so badly to POAS this morning and it was soooo hard not to.  I am going to POAS Thursday no matter what.  I don't think I can handle waiting any longer and that will give me enough tests to get to my expected period.  FF says AF should be here on Christmas...nice right.  But that would be a long cycle for me.  I think that's why I want to test sooner :)

I keep checking in on folks on BBC and Blogs and I want you to know I am rooting for all of us still waiting.  The TWW is awful.  Now it is getting cold and gray outside which doesn't help.  Maybe I will take my Mom up on the visit to FL in Feb!  A tan and warm to the bone is nice mid winter and hopefully I won't have that luxury next year because I will be busy with a bundle if joy!

I'll be in touch soon and I hope with great news.

In the TWW (2DPO)

Well we have completed our 5th nope make that 6th insemination with two vials again.  We did it Sat morning and Sat evening about 12 hrs apart.  I had some cramping a couple times during the day and once that I noticed in the middle of the night.  I am hoping that it was ovulation pains and we had good timing but we won't know for two weeks.

I thought work would occupy me this week but my boss just said he would rather I not help with the production work since I am HR.  We are so dead that doing this work for a change to help out was something I was looking forwards to.  BUT I guess I have more time to read blogs and my book.  I would so rather be busy than get paid to sit and wait for the phone to ring.

I think this Christmas is going to be interesting.  We have agreed to do no gifts.  They are so hard to purchase and I even hate getting them.  The only gift I want is a BFP and it would be the best Christmas ever.  I have never been much for Christmas but I do like the tree and food!  I always like food!  Shame on me :)

Well I should get back to acting like I am working as usual :)  Hope everyone is well.

CD10

Ok so I'm getting back to excited for trying again.  (Don't even want consider another BFN right now.)  We will be doing two IUI at home again but I hope to futz with the timing a little.  I feel more relaxed about things.  Maybe it's because I know work will be busy, who knows?

Brooke and I went to see my sister and her kids and her kids kid!  Yeah 19 with a 3mo and Yes I am Jealous!  But other than that is was a nice time and they are so kind to let Brooke and me hold the little one the whole time.  Mathew is so good and sweet he didn't cry much at all.  Then he spit up on Brooke, I thought she might puke on him but she just passed him to me and ran.  Just wait till we have one :)

We put our tree up and it looks real nice.  Makes me happy just looking at it.  I hope we all have a wonderful Holiday with lots to be thankful for.

I will give an update in about a week once the deed is done.  :)  Baby dust!

Attempt number SIX

So I think we are over the shock of another negative, well most of the time. 

Here is the new old plan.  We will start the clomid again tonight and take for the 5 days.  Then do it all over again for attempt number 6.  We have 4 vials left.  Haven’t discussed if we will do 2 again???  I plan to not POAS at all this cycle.  I don't want to know until it is real either way so no test at all until a missed period.  This is a busy time at work so I should do a little better not obsessing.  I am going to avoid baby center as much as I can.

Time to get a Christmas tree and think happy thoughts only.  Time for sadness to leave for a while, I hope you all have a great holiday and if I have happy things to say I will try to post again.

Happy Healthy thoughts to everyone!

BFN

Well I am sad to say another BFN.  Started my period on Sat.  Cried most of the day now moving on to our next step.  Not sure what it will be but I am so bumed I can't stand it.  Hope everyone else in this TTC thing is doing well. 
I'll let you know the new plan when I know.
TTFN

5 DPO

Well I am feeling a little better today.  It is Friday after all, and only a few more hours of work.  Brooke and I finalized plans for CT the other day and we are moving the trip to next Friday.  We will spend Thanksgiving with my stepsiblings and then head to CT the next day.  I do have to reschedule with my sister but I think she will understand.  I am taking a few days off to help out.
Now the dilemma, I ask this question not even sure I could follow the answers if I tried.  I want so badly to take a pregnancy test on Thanksgiving but it will only be 11dpo.  I will be so disappointed if it is a BFN.  Will that ruin my day completely?  I also have the urge to tell my siblings we are really trying to have a baby at this point.  We only see them a couple times a year and after Thanksgiving the next time will be Easter!  I think I should wait but I am the kind of girl who might just blurt it out.  I really don't want to say anything until we have something good to say :(  I will do my best to keep my mouth shut.  But do I POAS or wait?
Good thing is I will be busy from 11dpo until AF shows up or I get the great news of a BFP.
I was just chatting with some ladies on BBC and it makes me more sure I want to find a new Dr.  I think I may call our midwife and ask her to assist us from now on, that is if insurance will accept her help as medically assisted.  I am at try #5.  This sucks so much as far as insurance.  If under 35 you have t try 12 times to get help if over just 6 tries.  On one had I wish I waited but who know it would really take this long.  Now it's like the last 4 don't count, this one too if it doesn't work.  Man I hate insurance but who doesn't.
Well I think I have shot off at the mouth enough today :)  Thanks for your ear.  Have a good weekend!

2 days past IUI #5

Well I know it has been a while and honestly I have no excuse.  Life can be crazy! I am now in my 5th two week wait but this time we tried with 2 vials of swimmers.  One at 4am and one at 9pm both on Sunday 11-13-11.  I have high hopes but I think I have an equal amount of doubt.  This is very hard...  I don't keep many secrets so a lot of people know we are trying to get pregos.  This makes it awesome because people get excited and it helps me keep positive, on the same note when I am feeling down it is hard to explain.  The change in seasons doesn't make it much better.  It is gray out :(  Now all I can think about is cleaning my yard yuck :(

My mom is back in FL and Brooke's mom just sold her house of almost 30 years and bought a new house.  It makes for an even less fun time in the next couple of months.  We need to plan time to go to CT to help out with the move and Brooke says she has to pick up a lot of her stuff...  I didn't even know she still had stuff in CT???  The only thing that will make this fun for me is knowing I have a bun in the oven.  I actually enjoy going to CT but I also know nothing will be the same now and it will be hectic.  I also know my emotional wife will have a hard time and I lack in the sweetness as I am sure you all know, even when I try.

When I started this post I didn't realize it would be so negative....moving on.

The day before doing the insemination Brooke and I went to KMart to pick a new baby item, usually a t shirt or something little and cute.  I was so excited to find a little fleece newborn sleeper thing with giraffes on it.  (you know the things that have no legs just a pouch, I don't know what they are called)  It is so cute and how can you go wrong with giraffes :) 

Well I hope to pee on a stick for Thanksgiving my favorite holiday!  If I get a positive then I know I will be in the best of moods great food and a bun!  Please keep your fingers crossed I know that if you are reading this you are rooting for us so thank you.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday!