Here we go!

It seems like things are starting to fall into place finally.  After not getting approval for IVF and resubmitting 3 times we were approved but the insurance company gave dates that had passed and if I were to start IVF last cycle it would have been messed up........ So they revoked the approval until I started a new cycle and had a confirmed BFN then I would need to submit again.  Talk about hoops!  Well we did it and finally yesterday it did go through.  I got the birth control pill before approval because insurance covers that anyway so no delay on that.

I am now on cycle day 13.  I have to take the pill until Cd 21 (June 8).  On Cd 18 (June 5) we start Lupron injections.  THEN when I start my period or June 18 (whichever comes first) I go in for blood work and ultrasound.  I don't know what will come after that yet, well I know more shots and more blood work and ultrasounds until I have my multitudes of eggs ready to be retrieved.

Only after a movie and a relaxing night last night am I starting to feel a bit more relaxed.  I must say that birth control and I DO NOT get along.  I have been a mess.  I have a foul mood all the time and my stomach is not right but I keep reminding myself it will be worth it in the end..........right :)!

TTFN

CD 3

Yes this means that try # nine was also negative.  I have started birth control, the first step in IVF.  I am starting to do all my research now to see whats next.  I know 28 days of the pill and somewhere during that time I will, lets be honest, Brooke will be trained on all the shots.  I can't bring myself to do it on my own and luckily I don't have to.

I will give updates as they come but this looks more like a 2 month process from the start if not longer.

Wish me luck, maybe you should wish Brooke luck knowing what she will have to deal with :) ME

A little Off today

Well I am on cycle day 29 which for me usually means I should be having my period now.  But as you may recall from previous posts I had a D&C a couple months ago.  After that my cycle went long to 31 days, but that was correct considering when I ovulated.  Now to this cycle if my ovulation was correct I should start my period Friday, making this cycle 32 days.
I have had no symptoms.  I did POAS this morning and it was a BFN.  I am not surprised but a little disappointed.  I am also just surprised at how far off my cycle is this time.  Everything I feel now I just assume it's my period.  I am moody and I know it.  I wish I wasn't but don't try to tell me that or I'll bite your head off for sure :)
I guess only time will tell.  I am ready for IVF.  I am thankful I even have the option.  Happy thoughts till Friday.
TTFN

CD 15 and waiting for that :)

Well I (we) had an interesting weekend.  Brooke and I were out looking at our front yard Sat morning when I decided to check the mail.  Brooke said it's only something from BCBS and junk.  I decided to open it and found out it was approval for one IVF cycle.  I was in shock.  I had been denied twice already and figured I would just have to wait out my 4 cycles.  Well now I am waiting to do (what could be) my last IUI.  I thought I would have gotten my LH surge by now but NOPE!

It is kind of strange, I got so overwhelmed by the news I actually had a migraine.  I haven't had one in a number of months and not one this bad for a long time.  Brooke is so excited about the IVF, and I know I will be as well just haven't had the time for it to sink in.

I feel like I am holding my breath on this last IUI.  I do realize that I can handle IVF.  We already did an injectable cycle and I have had surgery for that matter all for trying to have a baby.  This is not something I am afraid of.  I actually think I am more afraid it won't work and then what?  Well I have been a bit stuck in my head with all the what if's. 

I know we will have a baby soon enough how we get it doesn't matter to me.  I just wanted to put it in words why I am freaked out...  It is me not in being in control and not knowing what will happen when.  I know get used to it right, I am such a control freak!

Thanks for reading.  It seems like it gets better after I type it all out.

Cycle Day 1 for IUI #9

Well for once I am happy to say I have started my period.  Fertility Friend was right on the money for when I would start.  This puts my insemination most likely into May.  I don't really care when anymore I am just happy to be back in an active cycle.

I will keep you posted on what comes next.

Looks like IUI

Well the dr tried again for IVF approval but didn't work. I am hoping for AF to show any day now but FF says not till next week. I am getting tired of doing nothing honestly. Just thought I'd give a little update even if it isn't much new news.

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Denied, but that's OK

Well my RE office called this morning to let me know I will be getting a letter from BCBS denying IVF at this point.  They also said that next Tuesday when the Dr. is back he plans to call the insurance company and try to change the decision.

I have to say I am not all that upset.  I was hoping for approval but in a way I am terrified of IVF.  If it comes to IVF or even if I do get approval next week I will do it.  BUT if not I will do my 4 IUI cycles with my new Dr. that I think I am really going to like.  Maybe with the surgery and D&C it will be enough to tip the scale in my direction.  How happy would I be if the next IUI did it!  I know I will be crushed if I get another BFN even though it shouldn't be a surprise.

I think I am stuck in my head right now...one minute I am thinking it could happen then next minute I have doubts.

All I know is I am not planning for failure in the long run so I just have to wait my turn.  I am trying to let go and enjoy the little things more.  I have been successful the last two months while we were not TTC.  Who knows if I can keep it up when the two week intervals of life start again.

Hope you all have a happy Easter.