4 follicles, 2 fertilized 3 day transfer

Well I have had a week from hell.  To start I told you about Shamus.  Well he is home again and doing well now.  When we picked him up on Friday he was urinating blood.  We realized this in the parking lot at the vet.  We brought him back in and they said to keep an eye on it.  Long story short we brought him back first thing in the morning and they gave him antibiotics thinking it may be a UTI..  After a dose or two no more blood and we should get test results today.  He does seem to be himself and we are very happy to have him home.
I went in for BW and US on both Thursday and Friday and was told to trigger Friday night.  This would be our first inter muscular shot and it went better than I thought.  We iced my butt and I barely felt it.  I had to go in on Sunday morning for the egg retrieval and no surprise it wasn't my Dr.  I am not sure he really works at all!  It was a little painful but with Brooke taking care of me I am doing well.  They only got 4 mature eggs and want to do a 3 day transfer.  When they told me this I started to cry.  I really wanted more and I thought I would have had more.  This office doesn't give much info so I shouldn't be to surprised.  They sent us home and I got the call this morning that only 2 fertilized.  Again I know I should be happy but I am really kinda sad.  I KNOW IT ONLY TAKES ONE!  It is just hard when you start to think one thing and another thing entirly happens.
Brooke and I didn't make it to the wedding.  I knew after Shay's surgery I wasn't going to go.  It would be to much to ask for someone to look after him and honestly I couldn't stand the thought of not being with him myself.  We actually cuddled in my bed most of the day Sunday and Brooke babied us both. She is a good mom and wife.  I was sad Brooke didn't go but relieved as well.  With my luck she would have gotten stranded in VT and I would have had to take a taxi for the egg retrieval :)
All in all I am trying hard to think positive.  I am having a hard time knowing we only have 2 and that it will be a 3 day transfer.  It makes me feel that they are not strong enough.  It also makes me wonder why?  I never imagined I would be going through this.  I know no one does.  God willing both little beans catch and we have a healthy pregnancy and get to hold our babies real soon.
I really appreciate being able to get this out of my head.  It makes it less scary some how.  I posted on the message board this morning about the fertility stuff and everyone keeps saying positive things.  I know it can happen.  It is just a little easier to look at both sides so I don't get crushed if it doesn't.
Thanks again for all your support and I hope others know they are not alone.  This trying to get knocked up thing can be really hard especially if you feel like your the only one. <3

update

Well the nurse just called and I am instructed to do the same meds tonight (the delivery just showed up so I should be all set) but I have to go in for BW and US again tomorrow.  I am not sure what that means.  I didn't think the follicles were big enough yet at least not many of them.  Now I don't even know about Brooke leaving for the weekend. 

I need to think positive thoughts and let the rest go.  I am way to much of a control freak!

7 follicles so far

So I went in for BW and US today.  I still haven't heard from the RE office but I know they found 2 follicles on my right side and 5 on my left.  They are still small but it is a start.  Actually I keep getting tinges of pain in my lower back this morning.  I keep telling myself it is nothing but honestly it kinda hurts!  Not to mention I STILL HATE ME RE OFFICE.  I know old news... 

They called in my scripts at the start and then, as we go, they tell me what to use and how much.  Then I look at what I have and it doesn't add up.  Right from the start I didn't have enough of one med so I called and the nurse said "I should have ordered two pens not one, just call in the refill" this one pen cost $800 without insurance and $25 with.  So when I had to pay another $25 I felt relieved except for the fact that it would have been one copay not two if she sent it in correctly.  Fast forward 3 days to my second BW when they added another shot.  I go home and look and I don't have enough if they tell me to continue more than 3 days as I think they will.  So I call again.  She says the same thing she should have ordered 14 not 7 since I have to use 2 a day.  Another $25 co pay.  I am just tired of double checking my RE and worse finding mistakes.

Add to that my poor Shamus had an emergency operation yesterday.  Shamus is our 7 year old Dane Colly mix.  It was a hard day.  He had an intestinal blockage that without surgery he wouldn't make it.  The surgery started at $2500.  We still don't know the total since he has to stay at the vet a few more days.  He is a healthy boy otherwise so I couldn't say no.  He is family no matter how tight money gets.

Brooke and I were supposed to go to a wedding this weekend in VT and I actually thought I would make it, but not now.  I can't have someone watch our dogs after this surgery.  I will stay home.  I am not sad to stay with Shay but I am disappointed the wedding didn't work out.  I was hoping for a mini vacation with my wife.  Such is life right!

I am sorry this is a blah post but that is how I feel today.  I should add that Shamus came through the surgery and he is looking good so far.

the ball is rolling now

I started spotting last night and have AF today.  It was a bit of a shock, mostly because I have been waiting for it, because this triggers all the stim meds to start.  My calendar said I would start the 16th and the Dr. estimated by the 18th but this is not out of the ordinary looking back at my charts and considering the meds I have already taken.  I called into the doc. and now I am scheduled for ultrasound and blood work tomorrow morning.  Then they tell me what new meds to start.

The estimated egg retrieval will be around the 25th.  We were supposed to go to a wedding in VT on the 23 but I think I will have to miss it.  Stress is a big thing during IVF I hear and as much as I wanted this get away, with all the monitoring I am already stressing.  I told Brooke to bring her BF and have fun.  It is for the best.  NOW I need to figure out what I will do for my shots while she is gone!  I will figure it out or possibly do it myself.  I'm such a baby :)

I am doing my best to turn my fear into excitement because I am excited when I forget about all the steps.

I hope everyone is doing well and I hope I have real good news to report soon.

If any interesting news comes up I'll let you know :)  Till then........

Here we go!

It seems like things are starting to fall into place finally.  After not getting approval for IVF and resubmitting 3 times we were approved but the insurance company gave dates that had passed and if I were to start IVF last cycle it would have been messed up........ So they revoked the approval until I started a new cycle and had a confirmed BFN then I would need to submit again.  Talk about hoops!  Well we did it and finally yesterday it did go through.  I got the birth control pill before approval because insurance covers that anyway so no delay on that.

I am now on cycle day 13.  I have to take the pill until Cd 21 (June 8).  On Cd 18 (June 5) we start Lupron injections.  THEN when I start my period or June 18 (whichever comes first) I go in for blood work and ultrasound.  I don't know what will come after that yet, well I know more shots and more blood work and ultrasounds until I have my multitudes of eggs ready to be retrieved.

Only after a movie and a relaxing night last night am I starting to feel a bit more relaxed.  I must say that birth control and I DO NOT get along.  I have been a mess.  I have a foul mood all the time and my stomach is not right but I keep reminding myself it will be worth it in the end..........right :)!

TTFN

CD 3

Yes this means that try # nine was also negative.  I have started birth control, the first step in IVF.  I am starting to do all my research now to see whats next.  I know 28 days of the pill and somewhere during that time I will, lets be honest, Brooke will be trained on all the shots.  I can't bring myself to do it on my own and luckily I don't have to.

I will give updates as they come but this looks more like a 2 month process from the start if not longer.

Wish me luck, maybe you should wish Brooke luck knowing what she will have to deal with :) ME

A little Off today

Well I am on cycle day 29 which for me usually means I should be having my period now.  But as you may recall from previous posts I had a D&C a couple months ago.  After that my cycle went long to 31 days, but that was correct considering when I ovulated.  Now to this cycle if my ovulation was correct I should start my period Friday, making this cycle 32 days.
I have had no symptoms.  I did POAS this morning and it was a BFN.  I am not surprised but a little disappointed.  I am also just surprised at how far off my cycle is this time.  Everything I feel now I just assume it's my period.  I am moody and I know it.  I wish I wasn't but don't try to tell me that or I'll bite your head off for sure :)
I guess only time will tell.  I am ready for IVF.  I am thankful I even have the option.  Happy thoughts till Friday.
TTFN