So we did it again

Well I have been so grumpy with all this fertility crap I just said "F" it!  I started another cycle at the end of May and now I am 10 days past a 3 day transfer of 3 embryos.  All three looked good but all three also had a bit of fragmentation but still a high grade.  I am scheduled for my BETA test on Sunday.

I can't even begin to start with all the crap that goes on with this process.  They were sending my meds out every other day because my insurance has some no waste policy and the pharmacy can't seem to make up its mind on what exactly this means.  One cycle they send all the meds the next part then another part.  Well this time I was on such a high dose it was ridiculous, right when I received delivery I would call in another order...annoying!

We made it through that mess went in for retrieval and they only got 7!  I was on so much meds and only 7 WTF!  Then after getting home we had 3 messages that they needed to do ICSI (inject one sperm into each egg) because our swimmers didn't meet the standard.  This is an additional $2500 if insurance doesn't approve.  We couldn't wait or we could lose them all so we said "do it" praying the insurance would cover and it seems it did thank goodness.  That crisis averted we waited to find only 5 fertilized.  So we were scheduled for a 3 day transfer and I was so bummed.  The whole cycle feels like a cluster Fu@%.

I told Brooke I was done.  If this cycle doesn't work it is her eggs next!  I have not been doing anything more than taking the meds.  I usually try to eat better or read a bunch on fertility boards.  I had no interest until about  Monday when I just peaked in on the boards to see what was up with the ladies.  I started to feel more into it but still didn't get invested.  Yesterday I just felt odd.  I told my co worker if I wasn't pregnant I would be pissed with how I feel but what are the odds for me, the meds make all these things happen after all.  I know I have done it enough times.  I was also running to pee so much yesterday.

Sooo  very long story short.  I POAS this morning and we have 2 lines!  If you made it this far in my rant the good news is we are pregnant again!  It is really really early and I am trying to be cautious but it is getting harder by the min.  It was a year ago I was pregnant for the first time.  Brooke says maybe I can only get pregnant in June :)

Now I am going to try to get my mind and body into it and be good.  Eat better and take care of myself better.  I cannot help but be excited.  If something goes wrong I will have to deal then, but for now I am so happy to say I am pregnant!  It was also the best thing to wake Brooke up to today, She didn't know I was going to POAS this morning.  Honestly I didn't know until I just did it.

BFN

Well I am still not pregnant.  This is beginning to feel like a bad joke.  I am going to set up a meeting with the Dr. but I plan to take May off so really won't be doing anything until July.  I really need a break and I also need to get my mind and body back for a little while.

I hope everyone is doing well, stay tuned to see what happens next.........in a month or two

HAPPY SPRING

PUPO again

We had our transfer yesterday. Two hatching embies that I hope are digging in for the long haul. We go for beta on the 25th. Happens to be Brooke's birthday so I hope she gets a great gift.

I'll keep you posted :)

We have a plan

After so many days of feeling like poop either from meds or emotions, I actually feel human today!  I called the Dr. yesterday and now I know I go in on the 11th for blood work and an ultrasound.  If everything looks good we will do the FET on the 16th.  We will put back both embryos and hope for the best.  Good or bad I don't know but the doctors at my clinic decided that the use of antibiotics and steroids are not necessary/beneficial for frozen cycles, so none of those this time.  Last time one of them made me puke, but if it was supposed to make things work I was all for it.  Well it didn't so I am trying to say maybe they are right!

I am so happy to see a clear blue sky and SUN!  I have nothing else interesting to report.  I hope you are all getting good weather too and get out and enjoy it a little.  Happy Friday!

TTFN

Cycle Day 1

Well my period started again....  I actually thought this might have worked at one point but I was wrong.  We go for our follow up appointment Wed.  I am so discouraged right now and I feel like my body is not allowing them to implant.  I mentioned this once to the Dr. but he dismissed it.  I plan to ask again and really push for some testing but I don't even know.  We are getting Brooke warmed up for trying with her eggs in the next few months.
I still have the two frosties so I plan to go right into a FET unless testing delays that and that would be OK with me.

Well that's my update even though it sucks.

Thanks for all your well wishes they were very helpful on my low days.  YOU are appreciated :)

6dp5dt

It is still up and down as usual.  I have been a bit off this cycle with all that is going on in my life right now.  Yesterday I just started to feel like this just may have worked.  No solid reason for this feeling more like I think I feel the way I felt when I was preg last time but who really knows I just felt good about it.  I got home to find the letter from the doctors office that will tell us if any of the embryos made it to freeze.  I almost didn't open it because I just knew it was going to say none made it.  Last time they told us on the day of transfer that one made it to freeze and nothing changed when we got the letter.  At the time of transfer the doc went over how the embryos looked and I just got the feeling they were not so good.  Well I did open it because I am a control freak and surprisingly we had 2 make it to freeze.

Add this news to my already good feeling and I was in a nice place.  Then I tested this morning and BFN.  I know it is still possible and I am trying to hold out hope but it is not easy.  When I did get prego last time I had a positive on 6dp5dt.  I will not test again until Saturday.  I need to let this go another day so I don't keep feeling like a boomerang.

I think that is it for now.  Blood test Sunday, will update after.

Baby dust

fertilization report

Out of 18, 10 fertilized.  I am happy this is more than ever before but greedy me wishes more fertilized.

Just waiting for transfer day now hope for Friday but could be Wed. depending on how they are doing.