Cycle Day 1

Well my period started again....  I actually thought this might have worked at one point but I was wrong.  We go for our follow up appointment Wed.  I am so discouraged right now and I feel like my body is not allowing them to implant.  I mentioned this once to the Dr. but he dismissed it.  I plan to ask again and really push for some testing but I don't even know.  We are getting Brooke warmed up for trying with her eggs in the next few months.
I still have the two frosties so I plan to go right into a FET unless testing delays that and that would be OK with me.

Well that's my update even though it sucks.

Thanks for all your well wishes they were very helpful on my low days.  YOU are appreciated :)

6dp5dt

It is still up and down as usual.  I have been a bit off this cycle with all that is going on in my life right now.  Yesterday I just started to feel like this just may have worked.  No solid reason for this feeling more like I think I feel the way I felt when I was preg last time but who really knows I just felt good about it.  I got home to find the letter from the doctors office that will tell us if any of the embryos made it to freeze.  I almost didn't open it because I just knew it was going to say none made it.  Last time they told us on the day of transfer that one made it to freeze and nothing changed when we got the letter.  At the time of transfer the doc went over how the embryos looked and I just got the feeling they were not so good.  Well I did open it because I am a control freak and surprisingly we had 2 make it to freeze.

Add this news to my already good feeling and I was in a nice place.  Then I tested this morning and BFN.  I know it is still possible and I am trying to hold out hope but it is not easy.  When I did get prego last time I had a positive on 6dp5dt.  I will not test again until Saturday.  I need to let this go another day so I don't keep feeling like a boomerang.

I think that is it for now.  Blood test Sunday, will update after.

Baby dust

fertilization report

Out of 18, 10 fertilized.  I am happy this is more than ever before but greedy me wishes more fertilized.

Just waiting for transfer day now hope for Friday but could be Wed. depending on how they are doing.

Egg Retreival

Well I was thinking I would have my retrieval today or tomorrow but was surprised when they said Sunday (yesterday).  I guess this time around I responded better than expected because they got 18 eggs!  I am still waiting to find out how many were mature enough and how many fertilized.  I am actually quite nervous.  Quality over quantity is better but I still don't know the quality YET! 
I still feel like I got punched in the gut but it is getting better.  I am getting excited but it quickly changes to nervous.  We will have to wait and see.

That's it for now..........I will post how may fertilized when I find out.  :)

CD 8

So I went for my first u/s and blood work on Sat morning.  They said they could see about 10 then but all to small to measure as expected.  Went in this morning after 6 days of stims I have two on my right measuring 12 and 12.5.  I also have 2 11's on my left but they don't count until they reach 12.  Also a few small ones who should catch up.  Things are looking good so far.

Update:  MIL got results back from the 12 nodes removed and all are cancer free!  So she will not have to have radiation but still needs chemo.  Looking at the positives.  She is doing well.

I update next appointment.

Hope you are all well.