TWINS!

Well I was so worried about this scan for fear of the worst...  I went in today for my second scan and much to my surprise we are having twins! 

We are now past when I had a loss last year and with the news of twins I am determined to be happy.  This is just what we wished for now we have to prepare:)

I think I am in a much better place now and I hope to have fun things to share allong the way.
What a crazy ride life can be!

so nervous

I go for may second ultrasound on Monday and I am so nervous.  The first scan was perfect and we had never gotten to that point last time.  Also last time my back was so sore that I have convinced myself that was when I was losing the pregnancy.  I haven't had back pain like that at all and no spotting at all but I am still terrified.  My symptoms keep changing and I can't figure them out.  I haven't talked about it because it just makes me want to cry.  I know nothing can be done no matter what so I am trying to let it go but today it isn't working.  I really just want to go back to bed until I get to the second trimester.  I am sorry to be so down but I am.  My logical mind says I will have good news on Monday but by heart hurts about what could be. 
I found a new group on baby center of ladies over 35 and pregnant due around the same time.  I was so happy to find them because they seem so supportive compared to the big birth boards that have way too much drama for me.  I logged in this morning to find 2 more posts of ladies who went for scans and found the pregnancy wasn't viable.  It just set me off and I guess triggered me to write this.  It is all so scary to me right now and I hate it.

I think I have said enough.  I appreciate having a safe place to let my thoughts out.  I hope to be in better spirits soon and I promise to let you all know how the scan goes on Monday goes.

TTFN
P

a little heart beat!

I know it has been a bit but I was just so nervous I couldn't write.  We had our first BETA on June 23rd and it came back at 203.6 then another on the 26th came back at 786.  So I was happy but still freaking out.  We went this morning for our first scan and honestly I wanted to run away the whole time expecting to see nothing.  Thank goodness it was all in my head.  We have one little blob measuring perfectly and a little heartbeat!  I am still in a fog and not sure when it will hit me it is real, other than the RE telling us we have to find an OB in the next 2 weeks.

I have not felt much this time.  A little yucky stomach but I haven't felt like it is morning sickness yet but I might be delusional because I did puke last night (not nice).

Other than that I don't have much to say.  I hope this is it!

Thanks for looking in and I will update when I have any good news to share.

TTFN