Well I (we) had an interesting weekend. Brooke and I were out looking at our front yard Sat morning when I decided to check the mail. Brooke said it's only something from BCBS and junk. I decided to open it and found out it was approval for one IVF cycle. I was in shock. I had been denied twice already and figured I would just have to wait out my 4 cycles. Well now I am waiting to do (what could be) my last IUI. I thought I would have gotten my LH surge by now but NOPE!
It is kind of strange, I got so overwhelmed by the news I actually had a migraine. I haven't had one in a number of months and not one this bad for a long time. Brooke is so excited about the IVF, and I know I will be as well just haven't had the time for it to sink in.
I feel like I am holding my breath on this last IUI. I do realize that I can handle IVF. We already did an injectable cycle and I have had surgery for that matter all for trying to have a baby. This is not something I am afraid of. I actually think I am more afraid it won't work and then what? Well I have been a bit stuck in my head with all the what if's.
I know we will have a baby soon enough how we get it doesn't matter to me. I just wanted to put it in words why I am freaked out... It is me not in being in control and not knowing what will happen when. I know get used to it right, I am such a control freak!
Thanks for reading. It seems like it gets better after I type it all out.
Congrats on being approved! Just think of it as insurance--you probably won't need it (because this IUI will work, dammit!) but if you do, it's all lined up for you.
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